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Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm not gay.

Sorry if this is an inflammatory subject. It probably comes as no surprise to most that I am not gay. And I am not ashamed to say that. (Not trying to comment on anyone else's status here, but I do love my husband and am proud of that being my status/lifestyle).

I'm at the mall the other day with all three girls. A little frazzled from the day. I pop in to Lens Crafters to try on a few frames. I have no intention of buying at the time, but am humoring the sales guy for a moment while I get an idea of what I like. I'm trying some on and he's trying to be Mr. Cool and tell me how hot I look in all of them. Let me remind you that I had all of my kids with me, the baby in the sling, very little make-up, and I'm pretty sure I had a ponytail, and sloppy looking clothes on.

"Hot"....Probably not!

I wasn't really that flattered, nor really paying that much attention to what he was saying. Just trying to focus on which frames I liked, and keep my kids from putting fingerprints on all the ones I wasn't trying on.

So, he's rambling on about how I need a dressy pair, and a casual pair, and sunglasses, and blah, blah, blah, (he could name a pair for every occasion). So, he's talking about my going out pair, and a pair that looks nice for when I first wake up in the morning and "he" sees me (pointing to my baby...so I thought). I quickly said, "she." And he corrects himself without a flinch, "Sorry, when 'she' sees you in the morning...you want to look good in what you're wearing."

I'm thinking, I really don't think my baby cares what I look like in my glasses in the morning. Boy, he's really pushing it to sell me on that one....

OH!! OH my Dear Lord!!

I think he was pointing to my wedding ring...not the baby!

I AM NOT GAY!!

Does he really think I'm gay with 3 young girls?? I know it's not unheard of, but seriously??!!

Amazing how many thoughts you can have in a short amount of time. Then I realize, I am not about to walk out of here and blow off that I just convinced him I was gay. Huh-uh! Nope! So, as though it's what was the point of the conversation, I quickly interrupt whatever he was talking about (I have no idea what it was since I was freaking out in my mind for the last several moments), and while my face turned all shades of red, I said, "you were talking about my husband a moment ago right? Yeah? My HUSBAND! Yeah! See I thought you were pointing to my baby...she's a girl. I have a HUSBAND at home." He didn't care. But I did. So there!

4 comments:

SavannahDad said...

That made me laugh out loud.

Zack wanted me to write, "are we still on for our date Saturday night?", but I censored him.

Jeanette said...

I had to laugh out loud at work today too. Even though I had already heard it! I can just see your red face!

SavannahDad said...

Wait, wait. You're NOT gay? I thought that "Joe" guy was a long-armed woman. Wow I need to pay more attention. Makes sense though since neither of you have a mullet.

See, she can't censor me all the time!

gaylafriend said...

OH! i would have paid to be a fly on the wall watching you during this conversation! that is AWESOME!!!