Step Back Kids, There's Poop on the Carpet!

Consider yourself warned!

Last September we were invited to a 5-year-old's birthday party. We'd never met her or her parents, but Sophia was invited as part of the entire new class at her preschool. We thought it would be a good way for her to make a few new friends as school was starting.

So, we arrive at this decent home in mid-tulsa. By decent, I mean like indoor pool kind of decent. Like, the dad's a sophisticated antiques dealer, and the mom has this old-fashioned oil painting of herself on display above the mantle.

Sophie was struggling to interact with these new "friends," so I was near her as the friend was opening gifts. I was also holding my 6-week-old Norah girl. As the friend opened her gift, I leaned over a bit to explain what it was...knowing it was important to Sophie that the girl liked her gift. About that moment, I felt and heard Norah poop. I kind of laughed quietly and was about to acknowledge the akwardness of the moment when suddenly, the mom yells, (seriously yells) "Oh my!" Points to me, "STOP!" Then to the girls, "Everybody move! Step back kids! There's poop on the carpet!!" To which a bit of frantic overreacting followed by the kids and the mom.

Apparently Norah had on a short and shirt outfit and the poop took on the path of least resistance. It flew out the back and landed in the middle of the nice cream colored carpet.

Oh yeah!

Now that's the way to make some new friends.

I turned a bit red, I'm sure (I do that a lot you know), and quickly said with a smile, "We just don't like to be forgotten at parties. Ha! Ha!"

Joe says, "Norah, don't you know it's not polite to poop on people's carpets?"

We were trying desperately to make it a laughing situation...

It wasn't too funny to anyone but us. Oh well. We didn't stay long after that.

I'm not gay.

Sorry if this is an inflammatory subject. It probably comes as no surprise to most that I am not gay. And I am not ashamed to say that. (Not trying to comment on anyone else's status here, but I do love my husband and am proud of that being my status/lifestyle).

I'm at the mall the other day with all three girls. A little frazzled from the day. I pop in to Lens Crafters to try on a few frames. I have no intention of buying at the time, but am humoring the sales guy for a moment while I get an idea of what I like. I'm trying some on and he's trying to be Mr. Cool and tell me how hot I look in all of them. Let me remind you that I had all of my kids with me, the baby in the sling, very little make-up, and I'm pretty sure I had a ponytail, and sloppy looking clothes on.

"Hot"....Probably not!

I wasn't really that flattered, nor really paying that much attention to what he was saying. Just trying to focus on which frames I liked, and keep my kids from putting fingerprints on all the ones I wasn't trying on.

So, he's rambling on about how I need a dressy pair, and a casual pair, and sunglasses, and blah, blah, blah, (he could name a pair for every occasion). So, he's talking about my going out pair, and a pair that looks nice for when I first wake up in the morning and "he" sees me (pointing to my baby...so I thought). I quickly said, "she." And he corrects himself without a flinch, "Sorry, when 'she' sees you in the morning...you want to look good in what you're wearing."

I'm thinking, I really don't think my baby cares what I look like in my glasses in the morning. Boy, he's really pushing it to sell me on that one....

OH!! OH my Dear Lord!!

I think he was pointing to my wedding ring...not the baby!

I AM NOT GAY!!

Does he really think I'm gay with 3 young girls?? I know it's not unheard of, but seriously??!!

Amazing how many thoughts you can have in a short amount of time. Then I realize, I am not about to walk out of here and blow off that I just convinced him I was gay. Huh-uh! Nope! So, as though it's what was the point of the conversation, I quickly interrupt whatever he was talking about (I have no idea what it was since I was freaking out in my mind for the last several moments), and while my face turned all shades of red, I said, "you were talking about my husband a moment ago right? Yeah? My HUSBAND! Yeah! See I thought you were pointing to my baby...she's a girl. I have a HUSBAND at home." He didn't care. But I did. So there!

Calm Down Everybody!

I mentioned Sophia's name meaning. Well, Josselyn means "joyful." She truly lives up to this name. She is joyful in most everything she does. She's silly and playful, and generally happy. "She's such a goof," as Joe always says.

Anyway, on Christmas morning she did a funny. My Dad, Joe's parents, and his Grandma Reta were all at our house when the girls woke up. It hadn't snowed or anything significant. However, Santa had clearly visited and there were a few piles of gifts to be opened. Those didn't seem to surprise her or intrigue her much. When she groggily walked out in the living room, she quietly climbed up on the couch between grandparents. She looked out the window for a moment. Maybe she was looking for a sign of Santa's sleigh or reindeer, we're not sure. But, she turned around with a big smile and said, "Oh I see, It IS Christmas!" Then, as though we were all squealing with excitement, she hopped down into the middle of the room and looked at us all and said, "Calm down everybody. Everybody, Just Calm Down!" (while motioning with her arms emphatically too). Then she giggled at herself and ran to her presents.

Definitely one of those wish we had it on video tape moments.

How do we hear God?

We've picked each of the girls' names for their meaning, and because we like the names of course. Sophia means "wisdom." Another time I'll tell you about the other two gals' meanings. But, we find that they each live up to their meanings in amazing ways. For example...

So, Sophie is 3 years old in this story. Not kidding. (You'll see why I'm not kidding in a moment). She and Jossie and I are in the car and I'm feeling a bit melancholy about life and not really feeling like a deep conversation. But, it didn't really matter what I wanted this moment, and God really yanked on my heart with this one. Sophie says out the clear blue, "Mommy, how do we hear God?" hmmm?? My amazing response, "You should ask your Dad when you get home. He seems to hear God talk to him more than I do." "Why?" (Of course "why," she's 3!) My thoughts: I'm such a moran. Did I really just tell her to ask her dad on such a real and pertinent question?? So, I pipe up..."well, it's not that we can't hear Him. Well...uh, we don't hear Him the way we hear each other...uh, though you can hear specific things from Him. Well, uh...you can hear Him through things like nature, and sunsets, and..." She interrupts, "I think I know. Is it like, the more we worship Him and love Him and get to know Him, then the more He speaks to us and we can hear Him?" Me: "uh, Yeah Sweetie, I think you answered your own question." Then I drove like a happy, but dumbfounded lady the rest of the way home.

(This picture is from the day of this conversation. We were on our way back from Mother-daughter tea party, and I was pregnant...not just large.)

Mommy, I'm not even kidding...

OK, potty warning! Stop now if it's not your thing. :-)

So, this was about 9 months ago. I was still potty-training Jossie, but, in general, she was going when I'd put her on the potty. So, the girls both decided to go at the same time. They could do this, since Jossie was using the potty-chair, and Sophie the toilet. I plopped them on their respective seats and went back to doing dishes.

I could hear them talking and just giggling away in there. I was in my happy mommy world, thinking how nice it was to be getting something done (dishes) and to hear my lovely and beautiful girls laughing and enjoying each other so well. Thinking "They are so sweet to each other. I am so blessed." For some odd reason, I never had the "it's too good to be true" thought. That was until I hear Sophie yell, "Mommy, I'm not even kidding...Jossie just wiped my poop on the wall!"

What's that she said??????!!!!!!

I do my best to not scream and pass out. Ok, maybe that's a bit much, but seriously, GROSS!!! I say as I'm sprinting to the bathroom, "Did you say Jossie wiped your poop on the wall???!!!" Sophie, (laughing hysterically and a little afraid) "Yes, Mommy, I'm not even kidding."

Of course a series of lectures and scouring of hands, walls, and toilets were to follow. But, what can you do? I had to laugh at the craziness of the situation. Joe thinks he has exciting days at work...he's got nothing on me.