Saturday, February 20, 2010
Funny/Odd Child Statements of the Week
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Meet Ghetto Woman
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Fog and Funnies
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Old and New Adventures
As hard as I try to "tone it down" so as to not stress-out my dear husband, the fact is Christmas is just dang busy. Usually I even squeeze in more homemade gifts than I managed this year, but I stuck to just cookies. We had fun delivering to neighbors and friends. Sophia and Jossie decided it would be fun to do some caroling while delivering. So, everyone got a song with their plate of cookies. I felt a little silly belting out the tunes in front of friends and their families, but if I'm going to teach my kids to get over their embarrassed feelings and push through, I guess I had to as well.
If we were really thorough, we could have focused on it nightly, but let's not forget this is Christmas chaos, and slowing down even once during the week was what we could do and it was a meaningful night each time. With kids ages 2, 4, and 6, it's just going to be a little chaotic anyway, but the fact that the Spirit of God is speaking to them and through them blessed us so much. I cried each time when they would talk about their understanding of Jesus, and the concepts of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. They really got it. When Jossie prayed one night, she called Jesus "just the strongest, most awesome Person ever!" They took initiative to earnestly pray for kids around the world who need love and food and to "know Jesus," and they prayed for sick people around us. It was sweet.
Jossie on the other hand had a completely different experience with the whole thing. She was right in front for the church choir, sang her heart out with a huge smile and even through in some jazz hands at the end.
Then at homeschool choir, she was right in front again, sang her heart out and did a little dancing and practically some air guitar on the jazzier songs.
A friend later said, "I didn't even know Jossie talked much, and that was a whole side of her I did not expect!" Ha! During ballet, she was front and center again, and looked so stinkin' cute. She had a total blast! I had a smile all day from that performance. She was just too fun to watch.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Prayers of the Innocent...
We have been doing a family Advent candle once a week leading up to Christmas and it has turned into a really precious time. For those few of you that have been around our house at bedtime, it will be no surprise that the teaching happens sprinkled with curt phrases like, "Jossie, don't dance on the back of the couch," and "Jossie, please don't catch your hair on fire again," and "Please don't sing songs about bottoms while we are doing the Advent candle," and "yes, I know your sister tooted but please ignore that when we are praying."
Ultimately, though they get into it. They get into the Story of Christmas. We don't tell the whole story every time but the Story itself occurrs to them somehow in our discussion. They are enamoured with the magic of it, the characters, the intrigue, the sense of scandal. They sense its importance just in our discussing it. We don't have to TELL them it is important, they just know. So eventually a general feeling of peace and awe settles over the whole crew. Then we go over the definition of peace that we learned on the first week. Jossie and Sophia both know it very well: quietness with hope. "There can't be peace without hope" Jossie adds, betraying a much deeper understanding then her tulip tip-toeing toes would lead you to believe was possible.
Finally we get to the prayers. Jossie and Sophia both want to pray. Here are the best part of their prayers in my opinion. Shared as exactly as I can remember:
Sophia - Jesus, Thank you for coming so we can go to heaven sometime and be with you. I hope I get to meet Mary and Joseph when I go to heaven. But mostly the person that I want to meet first and most of all is you Jesus because I love you with all of my heart.
Jossie - Jesus sometimes I know that it gets really loud with everybody yelling and bein' crazy and stuff but then I just get quiet and I hear my heart just beating and I'm just happy because I know that it is you in my heart.
I am honored to be led into the presence of the Almighty by children.
Today, Anj and the girls were driving by Miss Betty's house who is our neighbor that we know is in the hospital. Her daughter was out in the yard so Anj stopped to get the news and offer some encouragement. She told her that we would praying for Miss Betty as she was leaving. On the way home Jossie pipes up with this little gem:
Jossie - Mommie, I'm just gonna pray for Miss Betty right now (eyes closed tight and hands folded) Jesus we just want Miss Betty to get all the way better and we're just gonna pray for her EVERY day. Well, I don't know about Sophie or Mommy or for that matter even Daddy, but I know I am going to pray for her EVERY day.
Then she prayed for Miss Betty at dinner. I'm betting she'll pray for Miss Betty everyday for the next year or so. ...so beautiful...
Friday, December 11, 2009
New Blog
Monday, December 7, 2009
Still Here
P.S. I just re-read this and it's a little crankier sounding than intended. I promise I'm not mad at my friends or have one of you I'm really secretly trying to target in this. It's really about my heart needing to trust God and find peace in the process.
P.S.S. I love disclaimers. I offer them often to people. Maybe that means I stick my foot in my mouth too often.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
One Year Point
Monday, September 7, 2009
Joe the Man
10 years we've been married (as of October 16). It's hard to believe, yet I feel like he's such a part of me that I can barely remember life without him. It's been fun thinking about our 10 years and realizing/remembering all of the many reasons I love that man. He's just good. He's good to others, he's funny, he protects, he enjoys his family. He makes us his first priority (besides God of course). He listens to me. He adores me. I like that. I could have made some really poor decisions before I met Joe, and am so thankful that God just didn't let that happen and He put Joe in my life. He's what I always dreamed about in a husband. I'm so blessed.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Why Homeschool?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Jossie's New Do
The other day, I'm having a happy mommy moment where I am busy organizing the heck out of the girls' room and they're getting along together in the office, where they're playing beauty shop. Sophie had a little mirror and chair set-up. She had dress-up clothes, make-up, and plastic jewelry to put on the wee-ones.
She'd even colored a little salon picture so they'd know where they were when they walked in the door.
Ahh...
So sweet, my little angels. I am so blessed to have these moments where they are so happy together.
Then, as though the album of happy music which plays in my head, has suddenly come to a screeching halt:
Jossie comes in with that nervous laughter (like she thinks it's funny, but is afraid I might not so much), and says "hee, hee, hee, Mommy, don't be mad, but Sophie just cut my hair."
"WHAT???!!!"
A bit of over-reacting was to follow.
"So," I say to Sophie, "Just tell me that you did know better, right?"
Soph: "Yeah, I did." (Head hanging low).
Me: "Serious consequences if that happens again, OK?"
Soph: "Yep."
This is the wad of hair:
And this is her running carefree in the yard:
So, bottom line: she has bangs, which I don't love, but they go with her messy free-spirit style; and she has a large chunk cut off the side, which when the humidity hits, it curls and looks decent...not great, but decent. :-) She said to me: "Mommy, I asked her to cut it." Like don't be mad at her.
I later discovered when Sophie's hair was in a pony tail, some short pieces hanging down. "So, did you cut your hair too?" S: "Yes, but just so Jossie would know what to expect and that it wouldn't hurt." (Head hung low again).
Then, I kept thinking that Norah's hair seemed to have a rather straight cut in the top. So, a few days after our event I ask, "Did you cut Norah's hair too?" S: "Yeah." Me: "So, if you could just tell me all these things up front, rather than me having to discover them and ask you...that would be great!"
I guess you have to laugh. Don't most kids do this at some point? I just thought at 6 we were past that sort of curiosity.
Jossie goes around telling everyone: "Mommy says we can NEVER do that again!"
Monday, August 17, 2009
Come Walk with Us
This is my letter being sent out to raise awareness and support for diabetes research:
Friends and Family,
Greetings from our family clan! We hope this letter finds you doing well. We have had the most adventurous last 11 months, and thought we’d catch you up a bit. Since this isn’t a Christmas letter, we probably won’t give you all of the ins and outs of the year, like Joe’s business, the kids’ milestones, etc.
We are really writing to share a bit about our journey with Sophia and Diabetes. It’s part of our healthy process to share, and to champion our little girl for the superhero she has been all year long. We are also forming a walking team to raise money for a cure, but more on that to come.
Please bear with us for a story of sorts….
Type 1 Diabetes is an illness that seems like it comes out of nowhere; one day you’re fine, the next you’re diagnosed and on shots 4-5 times a day. We have learned that it’s more of a progressive illness (though not a result of poor eating, as it may be misrepresented in the media about children), so we don’t know how long she had the illness before it was diagnosed. Last summer we had started to be frustrated by some very angry behavior by Sophia. Then one weekend at the beginning of October, she and I (Anj) were running errands together and she needed to potty everywhere we stopped. I thought it was odd since she’s not the type of kid to check out the public restroom everywhere we go. I had also noticed her saying “I’m starving thirsty” a lot, and needing many refills on her water. I came home from errands, and Googled “excessive urination in kids,” and got the results: Urinary Tract Infection, or Diabetes. I mentioned it to Joe, and we both kind of blew it off. Joe’s nephew, Forest, had just been diagnosed in July with Type 1 as an 8-month-old baby. It was on our mind a lot, but we thought we were reading too much into her behavior, so we weren’t going to worry about it. That Monday then, she woke up and immediately threw a huge fit, slamming doors, screaming, etc. Joe said that I needed to find my glucometer (I had Gestational Diabetes with Norah) and test her, and if nothing was wrong, we needed to figure out a more effective way of disciplining. So, I got the meter out and tested her blood, and it said, “Warning. High Glucose. Over 600.” I of course assumed that it must be wrong and promptly stuck another strip in and tested her again. It said the exact same thing. We don’t know how high she actually was, but apparently the meters just stop measuring once it gets past 600. (And a normal person’s blood sugar is between 70-120).
Well, I knew right away. There was no other explanation. Don’t get me wrong; I prayed all the way to the hospital that there was another answer. I hoped that my meter was broken, and we were about to waste some money on a hospital visit just for them to tell me I had a faulty meter. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.
Within a few hours, we were practicing how to do shots in a rubber cushion, and then I got to administer the first shot before we went home. They said, “Do you like Pink or Purple?” with a smile, and promptly handed her a pink glucometer and said, “OOH, you get to go to Diabetes camp next summer!” We all just stared at them in a glaze, like, “Are we really trying to convince her this is great because she gets a pink meter and gets to go to her own special camp?”
It goes without saying, it was all a little traumatizing. Joe and I held it together for the first few days, just trying to learn and do our best. The realizations have been slow and painful for Sophia. Over the last year we have watched a 5 year-old begin to grapple with the idea of her mortality. It is hard to hear her ask things like: “Am I going to have this for the rest of my life? When can I be done taking shots? Do people die from diabetes? Is this going to kill me? What if I go low in the middle of the night, will I ever wake up?” It hit us very hard when she was screaming out in her sleep a few nights later, “No! Don’t give me a shot! No! I don’t want to prick my finger!” That was it. We both lay in bed crying and realizing that our innocent child, who had not a care in the world, was now faced with a very different reality for the rest of her life.
And the reality is, Diabetes is a life or death illness. Many don’t understand the seriousness of it. We knew that Joe’s mom had Type 1, causing her kidneys to fail, and thus leading to a kidney/pancreas transplant 10 years ago. Quite honestly, that freaked me out, but for the last 10 years, I hadn’t thought much about her past reality. Well, on our second visit to the clinic, we were given a Glucogon shot to keep with us at all times. This is an emergency shot, should her blood sugar drop so low that she passes out, can’t be woken, and/or has a seizure. This gets mixed up, and slammed into her thigh. Then the Dr. says, “Next you call 911, and it will be the scariest 15 minutes of your life.” Great.
The long-term consequences aren’t pretty either. For a diabetic whose blood-sugar is not well controlled, the long-term effects are: organ failure (mainly kidneys), heart disease, amputation, blindness, shortened life. Well there’s something you want to think about for your beautiful five year-old.
So, our lives have changed dramatically since that day. Though I thought she’d never enjoy a cookie or piece of birthday cake again, we have learned that I was wrong. We had so many misconceptions about diabetes, as do most people. The main thing that they now understand is that you have to count carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are what turn to sugar in the blood, and you match those with the right ratio of insulin. So, she can eat sweets, I just have to figure them into her insulin dose. We do avoid hard candies, and liquid sugar like: juice, soda, honey, and jelly, because they go into the blood stream much too quickly for insulin to catch up, and it causes too many spikes and drops in the blood-sugar. How do we measure it all though? At first it was mainly label reading, measuring with measuring cups, spoons, and a food scale. We also used the Calorie King book to look up many foods for carb counts.
For the first few months, mealtime was very stressful. I had 2 younger children who didn’t understand the need to wait until I had all of Sophie’s food figured out and she had her shot before I’d even start making their food. For Sophie, I’d have to write down every morsel in a notebook, for example: Breakfast—1 cup cereal: 28 carbs, ½ c. milk: 4 carbs, 1 tablespoon peanut butter: 3 carbs. Total: 37 carbs. Breakfast ratio: 1 unit for every 15 carbs. So, that’s 2.5 units. Now, if it came to be 2.7 units, I’d have to decide if I was going to round down to the closest ½ unit, risking her blood sugar going high for not enough insulin, or round up to the next whole unit, risking her blood sugar going low for too much insulin. Bottom line, many crazy math equations, and many stressful moments wondering if I’d guessed in the right direction, or if I was going to watch her suffer the consequences of my wrong choice in dosing. Now, I’ve gotten better at not feeling guilty, but the first few months, it was very difficult to not feel like I was the reason her blood-sugar wasn’t always stable, or worse, that she would have long-term consequences if I didn’t keep it under control. In a given day, Sophia would receive at least 3 shots for meals, sometimes an extra one for a snack, and always one long-acting insulin shot to mimic the slow acting insulin our bodies produce naturally. Also, everywhere Sophie goes, she gets to carry her “diabetes bag,” which contains her shots, her emergency shot, glucose tablets, a Calorie King book, a juice box, and alcohol wipes for shot/testing prep.
Almost 3 months ago, Sophia went on an insulin pump. This is a pricey little gadget that looks the size of a pager, and contains a vile of insulin that pumps through a long tube into her needle that stays in her bottom. It’s not surgically placed, so every 3 days we get to change the insertion site on her rump to avoid it getting infected, and to refill the insulin. The insulin pump has really made life easier. She can snack when she wants to, for the most part, and it figures the EXACT dose for me, and I don’t have to round up or down. We test her blood, and the numbers go by remote to the pump. The pump adjusts her blood-sugar and doses her food insulin by the touch of a button. Oh, and she of course picked a pink pump.
We’re happy to say that Sophia did go to Diabetes Camp this summer, and did love it! Though things like pink meters, and pink pumps, and diabetes camp did not seem like things to be happy about on day one, we now see how you can find joy in them. Diabetes camp was amazing, because not only did it increase her confidence in physical outdoor activities without a parent nearby, but it also gave her a chance to be a normal little girl for a few days…the very first day she met a little girl, “with the exact same pink pump!! Can you believe it?!!” (That was Sophie’s quote.)
We have to also say, that though this disease isn’t something we would have chosen, God has used it to bring us closer to Him. When Christ bore the cross He changed the face of suffering for those of us who follow Him. This journey has been so packed with revelation much of which we still cannot articulate. He has shown us what strength and wisdom a 5-year-old can have. He has shown us that we can trust Him to protect her. He has shown her that she can pray to Him for help and for a cure, and that she is uniquely strong to face such unfair challenges. We’ve even realized that 100 years ago, kids just died from Diabetes within a few weeks, and how fortunate we are that Sophia lives now and can have the blessing of modern-medicine to prolong her life. This year has made us so very thankful for our beautiful family, and for every day we get to spend together. God has helped us to strive for walking in peace through the difficult days. So much has changed in our lives, and so much has been realized.
So, back to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Walk that we are participating in…
It is on October 3rd in Tulsa. It is less than a mile, but it is a ceremonial representation of our very tough kiddos and all they overcome. It is a fundraiser for a cure. Though I’m thankful for the lessons learned, I am also trusting that God can make a way for a cure. That through funds raised, we can see Sophia and Forest live long, normal lives that don’t involve testing their blood 6-15 times a day, and constantly evaluating what they eat, and hoping they get the right amount of insulin for their needs.
What can you do? Well, of course, you can join us in this prayer. You can also join us in this walk. If you live close, or would like to travel here for the walk (which does not cost to join), the address for signup is:
http://walk.jdrf.org/walker.cfm?id=87369489
Oh, and for families who join the walk, a free t-shirt for every $50 you raise will be given for each of your walking family members.
Or, you can go to the website for a credit card donation (remember this goes towards a very important cure!!):
http://walk.jdrf.org/walker.cfm?id=87369489
Our other option is to buy a t-shirt. We will have them for sale for $15 for adult sizes and $10 for child sizes; the extra money will go towards our team’s donation, and you can have a fun t-shirt that raises awareness in diabetes research. Maybe you can re-educate someone on their misconceptions about diabetes! And you can just buy a t-shirt and come walk with us without any further commitment, but let me know if you’ll be there.
Well, thank you for taking the time to read our story. You are special to us, and that’s why we wanted to share our “reality” with you. There is no guilt on our end if you decide not to donate or walk, but we appreciate your listening for these few moments.
Thank you to so many of you who have shown so much love, thoughtfulness, and prayers for us in this last year.
God Bless,
Sophia and Her Fam