Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Craziness Example

This is just a follow-up to the last post.

After 3 days of numbers that pretty much stayed above 300, I was frustrated.  She was acting increasingly goofy, as in, lacking in self-control.  She did not have ketones, which is miraculous in itself.  She was not having any obvious sickness symptoms, which is a given that she'll have high numbers and need a higher insulin rate for a few days.  During that time, I had changed her pump twice, thinking I must have given her a bad site that wasn't absorbing well.  I had changed insulin bottles, thinking her older one maybe had gone bad for some unknown reason.  I had given her a shot to correct, to see if that would show me if it was her pump, or just her body needing more insulin than what I was giving her.  I had increased her rates to 120%, then 135% when that wasn't working, then 150% a few hours later.  When that seemed to do nothing, I upped it to 165%, and finally at 9 pm last night, after a few hours at 185% she was at 156 blood sugar, then 121 at 10:00.  I proudly exclaimed, "Hallelujah!"  Then when Joe tested her at midnight she was low, and that was with me dropping the rate down to 170 for the night, because though 185% was finally working, it seemed too high for an entire night.  Ugh!!  I'm expecting her to be high again this morning, because he just cancelled that temporary basal rate in the night...we'll see.  She's still sleeping, which is fine, except when you're a diabetic mommy you can't help but have that thought in the back of your mind that she could be so low in her bed that she's now comatose.  


To add to the craziness are things like taking her to the Allergist for her regular appointment yesterday, and telling him that she might be fighting something because her blood sugar numbers were high.  He asks what I mean by "high," and I told him 200's and 300's (actually mostly 300's, but I felt better throwing in 200's as well).  He gives me his bug-eye shocked look, and says, "That's REALLY high!  What are you doing about that?!"  

Really?  I didn't realize THAT was high!  Wow!  I must really not have a clue about these things!  I apparently don't know the first thing about taking this disease seriously. 

OK, I feel better.  I know he probably wasn't implying that much of failure on me, but it's hard not to hear that in a "REALLY?!!!" sometimes.  I went on to explain in 1 sentence or less that it's part of the "every day is a guessing game routine, and I give her more and more insulin to try to bring her back in range" deal.  

To add to my "mother of the year" award comes moments when I make Sophie feel guilty for actually wanting "more carbs?!!"  As if she is personally responsible for making her blood sugars so high because she wants to eat like normal.  Such a good thing to imply to your daughter who can't help that she has this disease.  I, of course, didn't heap that much guilt on her, but it's hard to keep your feelings out of the way when you've tried everything you can think of and she won't come down.  In my mind the only logical solution at this point is to make her eat nothing but protein, until she gets back in range.  Not a popular idea with a growing 8-year-old.  

Well, she's awake now.  Not that I was really worried...

Off to see what today holds!


Nikki said...

Do not feel guilty about that. It isn't that high...I absolutely hate when people say that. I always want to say, "what do YOU know."

Love your blog :)