Funny/Odd Child Statements of the Week

First one is Jossie's.   

We have the unfortunate displeasure of driving past a gentleman's club often that is a half mile from our house.  Now when I say "gentleman's club" you know what I mean without any further statement right?  Well, at this particular one, they apparently think you're too stupid to know what those true gentlemen are there for, so they've put black silhouettes of pole dancers and then blatant pictures of boobs and stomachs on the side of the building.  Thank you very much.  

Well, thus far, we've managed to drive past without any 4 or 6 year-olds noticing.  But in the last couple of weeks, my girls have noticed the "ladies bee-beeps" on the side of the building and cannot figure out why on earth they would be there.  

We're driving past the other day, and I hear in the back seat "oh, there's the momma's bee-beeps place."  "Shh...Mommy doesn't want us to look at that."  Me thinking Oh dear Lord, Why?? Why do they see it?  Why does our city allow that on the outside of the building??  How have I actually drawn attention to it by discouraging their eyes to focus on it??  Grrr!

Here comes Jossie:  "Mommy.  Why DO they have those pictures of bee-beeps on the building?"  Me:  "Well, maybe someone just thinks ladies bodies are pretty and wanted to draw a picture to appreciate them."  Jossie:  (Roaring with laughter) "That's so disgusting!  Nobody would think ladies bodies are pretty.  Ewww!  Gross!"  

Then the laughter subsides, and I think maybe we're done.  Then here comes Jossie, "Mommy, do you think they drink milk from mommys' bee-beeps in there?"  Me: "Nope, pretty sure they don't."   I'm about to barf at the thought and the awful conversation, and they're cracking up in the back seat.  

Ahhh...Life's blessed moments.

Now, if you're still reading, and not totally appalled by our car moment, the next story from Norah is cute and funny.

I recently had an ultrasound to see my sweet little baby moving around.  It was a precious surprise, and amazing to see my 10 week, 6 day old baby to have arms and legs, and a beating heart, and he/she was moving all around, kicking, and turning over, and putting his/her hand on its face.  Oh it was sweet.  The picture didn't turn out at all, but my doctor kindly gave it to me anyway.

So, I take home this ultrasound picture and explain that the black hole is the little home the baby is resting in, but that the picture didn't turn out so you can't see the little baby.  Well, Norah decides it looks like a cave and it could be scary with bears in there.  Joe assures her that all is well and no bears to be found, and that was all we heard of it for a few days.

Then, the other night, I'm putting Norah to bed, and she's about to fall asleep and says, "Mommy?"  "Do you think your little baby has to keep his eyes open all the time so it can look out for the bears?"  Me: "No Sweetie, there's no bears by the baby.  The baby's fine."  Norah: "But Mommy?"  Me" Norah, no bears in the cave, now go to sleep."  Norah, sigh..."OK Mommy."